


The Rise and Fall of Lonely Wolves

by Labyrinth_Layabouts



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Ficlet, Ghostfacers - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-17 11:35:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4665030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Labyrinth_Layabouts/pseuds/Labyrinth_Layabouts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I want us.” Harry finally finishes, his gaze falling to Ed’s softly shaking body. He wants to reach out, to comfort him. But it’s not his place anymore. Hasn’t been for a long time. </p>
<p>“Harry--”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Rise and Fall of Lonely Wolves

Originally posted on [Tumblr](when-a-monster-comes-along.tumblr.com)

 

  


 

 

“Harry, we need to talk.” There’s silence between them and Ed hates that there’s too much to say to fill it. He pushes the blanket aside and sits on the edge of Harry’s bed. Harry sits up, propping his back against the wall beneath the window. There’s a heaviness to the smell of rain coming in off the street. 

They both knew this was coming. It was no secret that they had fallen apart. Fallen out of love and into habit. Ed swallows, the breath going down dry.

“We said we’d face this.” Ed pushes his thick rimmed glasses up his face as Harry crosses his arms over himself. He’s silent, waiting for Ed to say what he doesn’t want. To end this thing they’ve been dragging out. “After Corbett--”

Harry scoffs, rolling his eyes to the ceiling as Ed continues. “After Corbett moved out, we said we needed to work on making this better. Making us better. Because, because I can’t keep doing this.” The stilted mornings and the passive aggressive conversations. Ed wants so badly to not-- to not be in love with someone else. He wants his best friend at his side, forever. How does anyone do this? It’s too impossible. Too awful. This walking away--

“Harry-”

“Just- just don’t, okay?” Harry pushes off the bed and paces the door with quick steps. He’s fumbling for clothes off the ground as he speaks. “Because if you cared-- if you cared at  _all_  about me, you wouldn’t be doing this.” 

“Me?-- Harry, I’m not  _doing_  anything.”

“Yes. Yes you are. You’re running away. Running away with him because you think it’s going to be better than what we had. You think that if you just ignore me long enough or say the right words that all this will be okay. But it’s  _not_  okay, Eddie. It’s not fucking okay. I want--” Harry stops pacing and takes a frustrated breath, pushing back tears because  _this is not the time, alright_. “I want--” he tries again. 

Ed is crying. Quiet tears leaking out from behind his glasses. Slow proof that this is crumbling.

“I want  _us_.” Harry finally finishes, his gaze falling to Ed’s softly shaking body. He wants to reach out, to comfort him. But it’s not his place anymore. Hasn’t been for a long time. 

“Harry--”

“What? What do you want me to say? That I’m okay with this?? Because I’m not going to give you my blessin-”

“I don’t want your blessing.”

“Then what?! What do you-”

“I want you to talk to me!” Ed shoves his glasses again. “I want you to sit down and- and tell me you don’t...” Ed trails off, words too big to say. “I want you not to hate me over this.” His blue eyes drift up to Harry’s. He wants everything he can’t say out loud to be read in the hurt in every bit of him. He  _loves_  Harry. Always has. But sometimes loving someone isn’t enough. Sometimes, even with everything going for you, you still fall apart. Still lose yourself in the quiet moments you were supposed to be building together. But Ed misses seeing laughter in Harry’s eyes. And he’s afraid that he’s the one that took that all away.

“I don’t hate you.” It’s a whisper, a concession. A breath that Ed holds onto as Harry slowly slides back across from him. Harry’s body is heavy. It sinks into the mattress as he leans over his knees, his head hanging there. “I’ve never hated you.”

Ed waits. Waits for his breath to come back. For his words to follow. For this to get easier. “What do we do?” He finally says, his voice breaking at the end.

“We do what we always do.” Harry whispers. “We stow the baggage and move on.” There’s a broken smile as he forces a joke. “What would the Buffsters think of us now?” His laugh is hollow. “Can’t even handle the simple stuff, let alone big bad ghosts.”

“Ghosts.” Ed huffs a laugh. “I feel like ghosts would be a world better than this. But hey, apparently the world’s ending anyway. All Hell’s broke loose and Heaven’s closed for business. So...”

They let the silence mull over them. Hanging in the air. The sun is peaking in through the window and the room feels warmer for it.

“What a fucking mess.” Harry says in a sigh. “Where are those Losechesters when you need them?”

Ed smiles, small, but there. “Knowing them? Probably fanning the flames.” His body uncurls the tension in his shoulders, relaxing into the unspoken truce. He breathes out, a long sigh that ends with him standing. He pulls his arms across his chest. 

“I’m sorry. That it had to end this way.”

Harry leans back, his hands braced against the long mattress. “Yeah. Me too.”

And there’s nothing left to say. Nothing left to fight about. But walking out, leaving Harry behind makes Ed feel like someone is standing on his heart, taking glee out of the pain crushing his chest. “Harry-”

“Yeah?”

Ed forces a grin. “We’re going to be okay. You know that?” The lie falls easy, but Harry let’s it go. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I know.” 

When Ed does turn to leave, Harry doesn’t follow him. He doesn’t chase after him or ask him to stay. He let’s the smell of him waft out of his room, out of the apartment, and out of his life. 

The room is still without Ed here. And Harry’s breaths too loud. Harry feels off balance. Like the world has tilted, and he can’t remember how to stand without Ed holding him up. 

So instead he lays back. Closes his eyes and let’s the bird calls break the harmonies of hurt in him. He lets the soft light filtering in cast shadows in new ways. He tries to unlearn the feel of Ed’s lips, his hands, on him. 

He’s lived too long with the idea of forever around him. It leaves him cold to realize his forever just walked out the door.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 


End file.
